A Real Man: Music Video – Online Press Release

Checkout out this story 🙂

Harlequin Ink (Noel Anderson)

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A Real Man is one of the lead songs from a home grown musical called Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets. It tells the tale of Liz O’Sullivan from suburban Melbourne, who suffers a breakdown after being deserted by her boyfriend, and Audrey Hepburn suddenly appears in her mind to help her deal with her impossible family and love life. There are some funny scenes with Liz and Audrey Hepburn together in therapy, talking to Rod her therapist, who just happens to look like the romantic leading star of the 50’s and 60’s, Rock Hudson. Audrey and I Consider Our Assets Is based on an original story by Gaylene Carbis.

The song A Real Man is performed in the music video by Aria chart topper Katie Underwood, a stalwart of the Australian TV and pop music scene with several top 10 hits under her belt. The video is…

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Larry Bird : The Introduction

deadbird

About
Larry bird has been created by writer, director and sometimes comedian Noel Anderson in a desperate bid for attention. Noel apologies to everyone!
Biography
Larry Bird has lived in Grey Street and St Kilda for most of his Adult life… except when he was a kid and home with the folks in Moonee Ponds. He has dabbled in most things, most legal and some not, and enjoyed a hedonistic kinda single life. Larry has an addiction to late nights and vodka, not necessary in that order . A few years back he got caught up in Melbourne’s swinging scene which lead to a part time career in standup comedy and the title of the worst Australian comedian ever. Sadly, he hasn’t worked for thirteen years and his last successful gig was the Police Citizen’s Youth Club … He is obsessed with Mark Seymour from the Aussie group Hunters and Collectors. He only ever has one thought in his mind at the time… This week it’s “How do I kick start my comedy career…again.” Checkout Larry Bird’s Unofficial Facebook page

Episode 1: The long Hard Road coming soon

A Real Man – Script Extract & Lyrics & Music Video

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A REAL MAN
Script Extract & Song Lyrics
From Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets

The Characters: Rod is a therapist who looks like film star Rock Hudson and Liz O’Sullivan is his patient from Glen Huntley, Melbourne… obsessed with Audrey Hepburn

ROD: What do you mean – when you say you have this ‘idea’ of yourself?

LIZ: I don’t know …it’s just an idea of who I should be! And, what I deserve.

ROD: I hear expectation Lizzie?

LIZ: Of course you do Rod. That’s because you’re a man, and I’m a woman! What woman worth her weight in gold doesn’t have expectations?

ROD: Expectations can work for a woman as long as she’s exceptional. Are you exceptional?

LIZ: … I’m working on it!

ROD: Good. Shall we dance Ms O’Sullivan?

LIZ: Oh, fiddle-dee-dee Rod, of course we should, a girl doesn’t dress
up like this just for chatter!

(LIZ and the ROD dance. During the dance she tries to embrace him but he moves away disappearing in the darkness. LIZ stands lost for a moment on stage . Suddenly, another man takes Rod’s place. The music changes, LIZ pulls away. Frightened, LIZ calls Rod’s name several times. A new man emerges from the dark; he throws her down, he bears down on her. She braces herself but suddenly…he walks away. LIZ stands up and sings as she does her BEDROOM SET is moved onto the stage )

SONG: WHERE WILL I FIND A REAL MAN?

LIZ
I need to throw off the stereo- type
Find someone who’s suited to me
Forget all the comments and words of advice
Find someone who’s worldly and free

So
Where will I find a real man
With Laughter and song in his eyes
Who doesn’t keep trying to change me
Or want me to wear a disguise

Where will I find a real man
Who loves me for just being me
Regardless of what I am wearing
Black strapless or T-shirt and jeans

Somewhere there must be a real man
Who cherishes all that I am
Who values the diff’rence between us
And gives all the love that he can

(A door opens in the large movie screen and Rod steps out. Slowly his OFFICE SET is moved alongside LIZ’S BEDROOM SET. Rod goes to the water fountain and gets a drink. He locks his office door and takes off his jacket. LIZ watches Rod in the darkness.

LIZ
Have I dreamed to long
For my soul mate to appear?
Could I tolerate his faults
Would he understand my fear?

He walks to the cupboard and opens the left side door. We see inside the cupboard door is an AUDREY HEPBURN HEADSHOT in a picture frame. He places the picture on his desk. He hangs up his jacket. Audrey steps into the light, dressed similar to her character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She watches the action.

LIZ
Where will I find a real man
Someone who cares about me
Who likes me for what I am wearing
In strapless or just dungaree

Somewhere there must be a real man
Who cherishes all that I am
Who values the diff’rence between us
And gives me the love that he can

(Liz makes her way slowly towards the Psychiatrist’s couch.)

ROD: What are you doing here…?

LIZ: (Looking up at ROD and smiling) Rock Hudson eh?

The Clock clicks over to 1.50pm.

(LIZ AND ROD DANCE)

ROD & LIZ:
So
Where will I find a real man
A man who is willing to be

LIZ
My partner

ROD
My lover, my equal

LIZ
And doesn’t feel threatened by me
Where will I find a real man
Someone who cares about me
Who likes me for what I am wearing

ROD
Black strapless or T-shirt and jeans

ROD & LIZ
Somewhere there must be a real man

LIZ
Who cherishes all that I am

ROD
Who values the diff’rence between us

ROD & LIZ
And gives me the love that he can
And gives all the love that he can

LIZ
I need to throw off the stereo- type
Find someone who’s suited to me

Extract from the new musical Audrey Hepburn And I Consider Our Assets
A Real Man Music video Released on 13th August 2014 – Song performed by Katie Underwood