Such A Lisp. What If Ned Kelly Was Gay?

On Wednesday 25th of May a ripple of outrage ran through social media in Australia as a true icon of Aussie sport confessed to not supporting gay marriage. Yep that’s right tennis great Margret Court publicly slammed Qantas for it’s pro marriage equality stance and  announced in the papers she no longer supported Qantas and would fly in the future on any airline but Qantas. She preached about love between a man and women, about God, declared how proud she was to represent Australia in sport (not water sports though), an Australia I presume from her POV that had no homosexuals in it at the time of her greatest sporting achievements in tennis… or maybe they were in Australia but felt poor Margret so narrow minded that they skipped her as a friend back of court. Whatever!

Anyhow forgetting the ill informed Margaret Court for a just a moment, she got me thinking and wondering, I wondered what if all our greatest sporting hero’s or legends like say Ned Kelly were gay and not straight? Would we honour them in Australian history like we do today? Would they still be Aussie icons? I reckon they wouldn’t. Imagine if Formula One driver Jack Bradham or cricketer Sir Donald Bradman batted for the other team, would we still call them champions?  Or would their sexuality get in the way of making them true living legends in Australia? I mean even Ian Thorpe had to pretend he was straight to get sponsorship.

What if great Aussie icons turned out gay? – Noel Anderson

What if Margret Court was the face of all Virgin Airlines advert’s in this country.  Now imagine, Josh Thomas or Joel Creasey getting on national TV and declaring they refused to travel on Virgin Airlines as they didn’t support Margret’s heterosexual marriage stance and all her beer-belly-heterosexual friends.  Yep, your right…I know what you are thinking, it would never happen in a pink fit, right? Josh and Joel would for one be too busy getting on with their own day to day business to be bothered driving a stake of bigotry into the hearts of Australians straight or gay.  Margret Court may be a great sports person but she appears to be a less than great human being. Do we care about that?

So, back to where we started… If Ned Kelly was gay would we still be talking about him today? I say not. And, if Margret Court was gay would we care about her sporting achievements today? I say not.  Equality I reckon still has some way to go, not just in marriage either. What do you think? I’ll leave you with a few lines of our national anthem Advance Australia Fair ūüôā

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free?

Read more: John Williamson – Advance Australia Fair Lyrics | MetroLyrics

The author Noel Anderson completed NIDA’s playwright Studio in 1996 and has directed over 50 theatrical productions, and will be looking for actors to be part of LOVE KILLS 2017 at the Melbourne Fringe, an evening of twisted stories about falling in and out of love. Noel‚Äôs plans to film several pieces from Love Kills 2017 as a web series.


Actors Wanted! Love Kills 2017 @melbfringe

LOVE. NOUN Рa strong feeling of affection:
Kill. VERB – put an end to or cause the failure or defeat of (something)
Devised and directed by Noel Anderson featuring the work of selected Australian writers.

Are you an actor/performer?¬†If you‚Äôve ever been jilted then ‚ÄėLOVE KILLS‚Äô offers a little¬† a bit of ‚ÄėSWEET ACTING¬†REVENGE.‚Äô¬† Whatever¬†your love story, if you are an actor or actress who can ‘really¬†act’¬†then director/writer Noel Anderson would love¬†work with you on Love Kills at the Melbourne Fringe Festival 2017.

‚ÄúLove is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile.‚ÄĚ

LOVE KILLS 2017 is a series of tales about love directed ¬†by Noel Anderson, featuring Noel‚Äôs¬†breakup piece ‚ÄėConfide in Me‚Äô¬†and well-known Melbourne playwright Kieran Carroll’s late night duet ‘Celine & Justin’ along with selected stories from the best indie¬†writers in Oz.

Love Kills 2017 looks at the¬†good, the bad, and the funny side of being in love.¬†Noel¬†will be¬†staging LOVE KILLS¬†during the Melbourne Fringe Festival and hopes to see the¬†best of the stories filmed in the future.¬† The show will run approximately 60 minutes with 7 performances planned at Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets¬†(past winner of The Melb Fringe Best venue)¬†Smith Street, Fitzroy between 14th Sept – 23rd Sept. Rehearsal would be short and quick.

Respect Aussie Artists - Noel Anderson

I had this idea for a long time. A show about the good, the bad and the funny side of loving.

“I’ve had this idea for a long time. A show much like the ‘Vagina Monologues’ but about men and women, looking at the funny and darker side of loving.¬†¬†I remember thinking,¬† I want brave writers, I want to¬†journey into the underbelly of¬†LOVE. ¬†The scripts are ready to go,¬†now I want strong actors¬†to join me. I want the journey for the audience to be comic, surprising,¬†provocative and truthful¬†… I reckon I’ve got the best indie writers¬†in Melbourne, and all that’s missing are the actors” – Director/producer/writer Noel Anderson ¬†

If you’d like to audition then the first thing to do is of course is like our Facebook page @Lovekills2017 and spread a little Melbourne fringe theatre¬†community love.¬†¬†¬† Love Kills 2017 Facebook

Actors please send your CV and a photo to:

I am looking at this stage for all ages, from approx. 21 Р55 years up, all nationalities, male and female. Auditions will be in early July. Note: Some material has strong language and adult themes.

The truth about love is out there… but only at¬†Melbourne Fringe 2017

ABOUT THE DIRECTOR:¬†Noel Anderson recently directed the six part TV series NEXT‚Ķabout the perils of online dating¬†which premiered on Foxtel, Apple TV¬†and We Are TV in 2017. In the first month NEXT had¬†64,000 views internationally. Noel completed NIDA‚Äôs Playwright Studio 1996, his written work includes: Hello Little Man (Melbourne Writer‚Äôs Social Anthology 2016), Kylie Kastle Throws A Party (performed in schools across Australia), Germ Warfare (Bondi Pavillion), Pulling Out (Best Writing Winner Midsumma Festival at Gasworks), Sammy and Dave (Stables Theatre), The Carer (Belvoir St Theatre), Andy Warhol‚Äôs Fifteen Minutes Of Fame¬†(La Mama & the Jewish Museum of Australia with Andy Warhol‚Äôs Geniuses Exhibition), Love Letters (Melbourne Arts Centre) and the new Australian musical¬†Audrey Hepburn And I Consider Our Assets¬† which premiered at the Melba Spiegeltent on 29th October 2015. Noel is currently working on his first feature film adaption of¬†Sammy and Dave (Like Us on FB @sammyluvdave) and just finished filming the music video ‚ÄėTravellers in Time.‚Äô You can¬†follow Noel on Twitter: @Randyandy42 or¬†¬† Noel has directed over 50 theatrical productions.