Unfinished Symphony 

In my dreams I remember music more than people. If God was working today I’m convinced he’d be a professional musician.  Probably playing trumpet in a swing band in a dodgy RSL club in Yarraville or strumming a guitar and singing an old folk song by Peter, Paul and Mary about peace, love and hammers. I use to think friends and family are all we needed in life but now I don’t believe that, now I believe only in music.
I remember standing on Halsted Street in Chicago not knowing where to go. It had been a strange holiday, not what I had expected exactly. Most holidays aren’t. New York wasn’t what I thought I needed and neither was Montreal. I was searching for something that trip, something I’d lost in my late thirties. Something I wanted back. There’s this thing with travelling, it unravels the springs inside you, letting your soul loose and imagination free to roam uninhibited.

I recall standing on the footpath, city map in hand, wondering where I should go next.  A doctor I went to when I was on worker’s comp in Sydney told me once ‘when you are unsure of what to do in a given situation then best do nothing.’ For some reason I’ve never forgotten that, so I stood there holding the Chicago city map and didn’t move.
I don’t know at what point I started to drift, maybe it was the music coming from a nearby bar that had prompted it, but drift I did. My mind shifted into an altered state of absolute relaxation, a state of chemically free bliss brought on by the tribal beats in the music reverberating through my body, every beat teasing my eardrums. A commotion was happening in a tiny bar on Halsted, and my senses appeared to open up to the sensation.

As I stood there drifting, my boyhood was paraded candidly before my eyes in Technicolor flashbacks; an occasional sour note in grainy R.K.O black and white, thrown in for good measure. “You can change your future but you must never forget the past” I heard Grandma chuckle as she buttered a scone. I saw myself in my grandma’s backyard in St Peters playing with wooden pegs while my mum hung a week’s worth of family smalls on the clothesline.  There’s something about panties, bras and Y-fronts blowing in the breeze on a hot day that always makes me smile. I remembered the day I locked my mother and my grandma out of the house for eight hours, giggling the entire time until my uncle Kenny came home, jumped the fence and let them in. I was sent immediately to bed and given no pocket-money that week.

I drifted again, this time a few houses up the street to Christine’s place, where we sat on the lounge cuddling and I had my first kiss. I remember Christine taking my hand and placing it up and under her school uniform. It is those days of raspberry cordial, teenage dreams and family that come back whenever I hear a song by the Carpenters playing on the radio.  Those days, when I was younger.

Writer Noel Anderson

I dropped the map and bent down to pick it up. The music coming from inside the bar was very loud so I decided to go in. I walked straight up to the barman and ordered a Budweiser. There’s something about a DJ spinning records that has always fascinated me, to this day I can sit alone anywhere in the world and listen to a good DJ and never feel the need for social contact. I decided at some point this God given gift was to keep me safe and out of trouble. It gives me a sense of contentment that most people struggle to find in day to day life, foolish people who put their faith in loving someone else… but not me, I have put all my faith in music.

“Do you believe in God. I was watching you from the DJ box. You were enjoying my set. Do you believe in him?”  I didn’t answer. “Have I offended you or something? Maybe you think I should get back up there and just spin tracks. Do you live in Chicago?”
“I believe in music, nothing else” I responded. “I’ve tried believing in other things but it just doesn’t work. I’ve been let down by other things, people mostly I guess. I am never let down by music. So, I believe only in it these days. Does this make me a coward?” I asked him, finishing my Bud. “You know that’s a strange question for a DJ to be asking? So, what do you believe anyway?”

“I believe in America and Budweiser beer of course. First thing in the morning I always believe in a good coffee, strong black. I believe in God. He created music for everyone to enjoy, not just you. I gotta get back behind the deck. Nice chatting. Enjoy your flight.” He smiled a cheeky F.U. smile and left.  Enjoy your flight? How did he know that I wasn’t from Chicago? Must be my accent I decided. I ordered another beer at the bar and sat nearest to the stage right speaker.  I drank, listened to the music he was spinning and started to drift.

I was thirteen and living with my mum and stepdad. I had suggested our kitchen table for a sneaky game of poker while mum was out.  I remember dealing the deck of cards and smoking, feeling out of place surrounded by my neighbourhood friends. I tried my first and my last cigarette that day while mum was out shopping.  I nearly choked to death. Smoking was never going to work for me I decided. The music changed tempo, I drifted towards the sky through endless silver cloud and landed feet first at a set of gates with the sign Rainbow Depot hanging in midair. Inside the gates I could hear an orchestra warming up and walking towards me was the DJ from Chicago drinking a Bud. He pushed on the gates and stood open armed as if to say ‘Sing For Me.’

“I’m a tenor ” I confided clearing my throat and immediately started to sing Che Gelida Manina from La Boheme. I sang in a voice I’d never heard before, hitting notes I never dreamed I could hit. When I’d finished  we stood comfortable in our quiet time, much like lovers setting up house for the first time somewhere in a big city. He broke the silence with his strong Chicagoan accent.

“How well did you love?” he asked. I didn’t answer or wouldn’t.  Instead I fidgeted. “How well did you love my friend?” Still I didn’t answer preferring to get lost in the melody line of the music coming from the orchestra beyond the gates. “This is not a competition. At Rainbow Depot there is no right or wrong answer. There is no failure here, not in this place. There is only the symphony. Can you hear it?”  Indeed I could hear it, I have heard it all my life I thought, sometimes while doing the dishes as a kid with mum, occasionally while having sex, leading me closer to a place yet to be discovered.  “How well did you love?” he prompted again.

“Not very well I think mister DJ. Oh, there has been times I’ve done okay. But, at the end of the day, once the shit is left to settle and the band has gone home, I don’t think I’ve done well at all. But, if you compare me to other people I’ve done alright. Alright does sound a little underwhelming though. You said something about there being no comparison but that, I think, is a very idealistic position for  you to be taking and …” The DJ cut me off mid sentence. “Stop. I said this is NOT a competition. And, as a general rule there should be NO comparison. How well did you love is all I asked. It is the easiest of all questions, yet you stand in this safe place with no answer, only comparison. Tell me, what do you feel under your skin?” There was no getting out of it, no changing records, not even a murder on the dance floor could save me. I had to answer.

“Okay. I’ll tell you. Under my skin I believe not all people are created equal. I reckon there are a lot of really fucked up things happening today that most people aren’t aware of or even give a shit about. I stress. I think sometimes, not every day, but sometimes I think we are all doomed to die if the young generation is left in charge of the office, even just for five minutes… and I believe wholeheartedly in the power of chocolate to make you feel better after a break up. But, mostly mister DJ I believe in music and a God that can dance.”

He finished his Budweiser, turned to leave, stopped at the gates. “A God that can dance? Good on you, good-on-you. At least you’ve got something to hold tight, most don’t.” He did a little foxtrot and shut the gates.

How well did you love?

I was back inside the bar on Halsted Street, the bartender came over and asked if I wanted another Bud. I declined the offer and left. Outside I sat on the curb and listen to the rhythm in the music cut through the cold night air.  I sat for a long time alone not needing anyone, lost in the music. He was a good DJ I thought, taking me to places I’d only ever dreamed of. I waited until he’d finished his set, catching him off guard in the carpark as he packed albums into the boot of his car.

“How well did YOU love Mr DJ?” I asked him.  He looked up a little surprised but kept packing.  “Are YOU from Chicago?” I continued. Still no answer came. He shut the boot, got into his car, turned the keys in the ignition. The car radio came on, 98. 7 FM Chicago.  A symphony was playing.

“What’s that playing?” I asked. “That music, I recognise it.”
He looked me in the eyes, no one spoke for what felt like eternity and then…
“You can’t know it. It’s an unfinished symphony. Mine,” he confessed. “I’ve been working on it between gigs. It’s a work in progress, Woo Wap Da Bam. I started back in London when I lived near the Angel. It’s called The Symphony of…” But  before he had finished the sentence, he drove off.

In Melbourne I dream about Chicago often, when I close my eyes I hear his car engine idling through the walls of my St Kilda flat and I can just make out the unfinished symphony playing in the distance. It’s usually turns out to be nothing more than static from Barry’s TV set next door. Static that sounds like music to me. An unfinished symphony beckoning me to a bar on Halsted Street with a DJ spinning orchestral tracks at Rainbow Depot. How well did you love he’d asked? I don’t know how well I’ve done so far.  I tried my best I guess. What do I believe he smiled, looking up from the deck, as I shut my eyes. I believe I mustn’t compare. Well, at least I’ve learnt that.  In the end that’s gotta be worth something.

About the Author – Noel Anderson completed NIDA’s Playwright Studio and has directed over 50 theatrical productions and worked in film and TV.  Noel’s written work includes the plays Dark victory,  Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame and the musical Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets. You can also subscribe to Noel’s YouTube Channel.  Other sites to follow: Twitter @Randyandy42 or Facebook or Instagram

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Stage Fright or ‘I’ll have eggs with that!’

I’m never short on words but …

I am not someone who is ever short for words but recently at a performance of Love Kills 2017, currently playing in Collingwood, I had a minute or two when my mind emptied like a can of baked beans over a hot saucepan. I tried thinking hard but there was nothing but black! Naturally I bumbled on pretending to talk to Kylie Minogue, which seemed to go down alright but didn’t pull me out of the jam or the blankness of my mind. So, I tried cracking a few jokes about bisexuality (always goes down a treat) and generally shamelessly showing off until, at last the my script ‘Confide in Me’ magically popped back into my head. I remember thinking at the time, in those few minutes, as I looked into the audiences smiling faces, ‘Oh God, this what they came for, a live experience and I am givin’ it to them in abundance’.

I’ll take this moment to thank everyone who sent me private messages praising the show, the acting, the writing and my direction, I really appreciate everyone’s blessing.

Cinema of cause is all planned, but not live theatre, anything can happen.  The very nature of doing a live show is that the audience in general are rooting for you and I counted on that.  Recently at an MTC show I went to see, Colin Friels had to ask for a prompt several times, so it can happen to the best of’em.

However thinking back, somewhere in my speech about ‘vaginas and penises’ (I’m all class) I got loss in my own fantasy and started constructing a new ending to my very own work, then when I realised what I was doing blocked it. Stage fright or stage block? Not sure… I went home after the performance, stripped off and jumped in bed and pondered what would have happened had I just let my imagination continue. Where would my improvised ‘tale of love’ have ended? Would it still have the same meaning? And more importantly would the audience have enjoyed the new improvised script with me free falling, more than the scripted one?

The next morning I got up and  had bacon and eggs for breakfast, with beans, still thinking about that moment when I realised I’d fallen into my own storyline, just like Alice does, in Alice in Wonderland, a dreamtime state where anything could have happen…if only I had trusted more. But, of course I didn’t and I don’t. Trust is something that sadly disappears at the end of relationships also.

Leading a company of players and putting on a show where you play four roles director/writer/producer/performer is not the easiest job in the world, you get tired and at times you just want to go to sleep, curl up. But, of course you can’t, much like the last days of a relationship, you sense a battle is nearing, and the only thing you can think to do is…JUMP!

The cast for Love Kills 2017 features Caroline Ferguson (direct from La Mama’s 2017 hit The Privatization of Ward 9B), Graham Murray (Glitch 2 & Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries), Carissa McAllen (Paper Giants: Magazine Wars), Stephanie Osztreicher, Lourdes Zamanillo, Ros Lewis, Geoff Stuart (Melb Writer’s Social Group) and Noel Anderson performing his Kylie Minogue pop inspired breakup piece ‘Confide in Me.’

Love Kills 2017 is on until the 23rd September.

Tickets via www.melbournefringe.com.au or (03) 9660 9666

Love Kills 2017 only at Melb Fringe

Love Kills 2017 – Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets (best venue winner) – 80 Smith St, Collingwood. 14th – 23rd Sept, 2017. Performance Times: Wed – Thurs 7pm, Friday 6pm, Sat 5.30pm.  Seven performances only (bookings essential) 14th Sept Preview $20 / all other performances $25. Warning adult themes and strong language.

Love Kills 2017 on Facebook

Interviews & Contact Info: noel_anderson@y7mail.com or (03) 90770781 (leave a message)

 

 

Adult’s Only – LOVE KILLS 2017 – Reviewers Online PRESS RELEASE

Have you ever been in love? Did it end well? Maybe you’ve had a fling in Bali that you can’t forget or fantasized about an ex lover while being massaged by a hunky masseur?
‘Do all breakups make you feel like you’ve been reassigned?’
Love Kills 2017 is the new show devised and directed by Noel Anderson (Andy Warhol’s Fifteen of Fame, TV series ‘NEXT’ season 1 & 2, ‘Travellers in Time’ music video) that dares to tell the truth about love, warts and all.

‘Love means never saying sorry’
Nine of Melbourne’s best indie writers and lonely hearts, and seven performers will bring their considerable experience and clout to the Melbourne Fringe 2017 with a performance on Smith Street in Collingwood, that will make you laugh, question love (the whole damn thing) and entertain.
‘To be honest it wasn’t the best sex in my life’
“Love is something we’ve all gotten wrong a couple times, right?” Anderson said. “Love Kills 2017 looks at those moments in our love life when everything goes bloody pear-shaped, romance is dead and we end up a lovesick mess.”
‘He kisses me, I let him embrace me and two days later we emerge from the bedroom, hungry and reenergised’
Leading the team of writers for Love Kills 2017 is Melbourne indie theatre stalwart, Kieran Carroll (Sons of Sun – Sydney Opera House, A Fitzroy Romance – La Mama and The Truth is Longer Than a Lie published by Black Pepper Press ), along with Tracie Lark, Ros Lewis, Marion Roberts,  Melaka Stanash, Ursula Teresa Kolecki, Lourdes Zamanillo, Geoff Stuart, Melissa Collins and Noel Anderson.
‘I married her. At 21 we moved into a bedsit in West Melbourne. I won’t pretend that monogamy wasn’t an issue’

‘A Kylie Minogue pop inspired breakup piece’
The cast for Love Kills 2017 features Caroline Ferguson (direct from La Mama’s 2017 hit The Privatization of Ward 9B), Graham Murray (Glitch 2 & Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries), Carissa McAllen (Paper Giants: Magazine Wars), Stephanie Osztreicher, Lourdes Zamanillo, Ros Lewis and Noel Anderson performing his Kylie Minogue pop inspired breakup piece ‘Confide in Me.’
‘I stand before you ready to share my secrets’
The Love Kills 2017 team know the truth about love is out there somewhere in Collingwood this September, and with a little help from you they are determined to find it! Only @melbfringe.  See you at there! #lovekills2017 #confideinme #randyandy42
Tickets via http://www.melbournefringe.com.au or (03) 9660 9666

Love Kills 2017 only at Melb Fringe
Love Kills 2017 – Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets (best venue winner) – 80 Smith St, Collingwood. 14th – 23rd Sept, 2017. Performance Times: Wed – Thurs 7pm, Friday 6pm, Sat 5.30pm.  Seven performances only (bookings essential) 14th Sept Preview $20 / all other performances $25. Warning adult themes and strong language.
Love Kills 2017 on Facebook
DEAR PRESS: For opening night comps & Interviews please contact:: Info: noel_anderson@y7mail.com or (03) 90770781 (leave a message – your name, company and don’t forget, contact details)
‘Checkout our Love Kills 2017 trailer below and remember to subscribe to my YouTube Channel. I can’t wait for you to see LOVE KILLS the webseries’ – Love always Noel xxx

Subscribe – Noel Anderson’s YouTube Channel

 

Love Kills 2017 @melbfringe

Have you ever been in love? Did it end well? Maybe you’ve had a fling in Bali that you can’t forget or fantasized about an ex lover while being massaged by a hunky masseur?

‘Do all breakups make you feel like you’ve been reassigned?’

Love Kills 2017 is the new show devised and directed by Noel Anderson (Andy Warhol’s Fifteen of Fame, TV series ‘NEXT’ season 1 & 2, ‘Travellers in Time’ music video) that dares to tell the truth about love, warts and all.

‘Love means never saying sorry’

Nine of Melbourne’s best indie writers and lonely hearts, and seven performers will bring their considerable experience and clout to the Melbourne Fringe 2017 with a performance on Smith Street in Collingwood, that will make you laugh, question love (the whole damn thing) and entertain.

‘To be honest it wasn’t the best sex in my life’

“Love is something we’ve all gotten wrong a couple times, right?” Anderson said. “Love Kills 2017 looks at those moments in our love life when everything goes bloody pear-shaped, romance is dead and we end up a lovesick mess.”

‘He kisses me, I let him embrace me and two days later we emerge from the bedroom, hungry and reenergised’

Leading the team of writers for Love Kills 2017 is Melbourne indie theatre stalwart, Kieran Carroll (Sons of Sun – Sydney Opera House, A Fitzroy Romance – La Mama and The Truth is Longer Than a Lie published by Black Pepper Press ), along with Tracie Lark, Ros Lewis, Marion Roberts,  Melaka Stanash, Ursula Teresa Kolecki, Lourdes Zamanillo, Geoff Stuart, Melissa Collins and Noel Anderson.

‘I married her. At 21 we moved into a bedsit in West Melbourne. I won’t pretend that monogamy wasn’t an issue’

‘A Kylie Minogue pop inspired breakup piece’

The cast for Love Kills 2017 features Caroline Ferguson (direct from La Mama’s 2017 hit The Privatization of Ward 9B), Graham Murray (Glitch 2 & Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries), Carissa McAllen (Paper Giants: Magazine Wars), Stephanie Osztreicher, Lourdes Zamanillo, Ros Lewis and Noel Anderson performing his Kylie Minogue pop inspired breakup piece ‘Confide in Me.’

‘I stand before you ready to share my secrets’

The Love Kills 2017 team know the truth about love is out there somewhere in Collingwood this September, and with a little help from you they are determined to find it! Only @melbfringe.  See you at there! #lovekills2017 #confideinme #randyandy42

Tickets via www.melbournefringe.com.au or (03) 9660 9666

Love Kills 2017 only at Melb Fringe

Love Kills 2017 – Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets (best venue winner) – 80 Smith St, Collingwood. 14th – 23rd Sept, 2017. Performance Times: Wed – Thurs 7pm, Friday 6pm, Sat 5.30pm.  Seven performances only (bookings essential) 14th Sept Preview $20 / all other performances $25. Warning adult themes and strong language.

Love Kills 2017 on Facebook

Interviews & Contact Info: noel_anderson@y7mail.com or (03) 90770781 (leave a message)

‘Checkout our Love Kills 2017 trailer below and remember to subscribe to my YouTube Channel’ – Love always Noel xxx

 

 

Never Create An Aussie Musical Part 2 Or My Fair Lady VS Audrey Hepburn – what if?

I’m sitting in Father’s Office in Melbourne drinking a vodka, lime and soda waiting for a friend to arrive. She is seeing My Fair Lady at the Regent and is running late. While I wait my mind wanders, I sip my vodka, look at the view of the State Library of Victoria and ponder the fate of the great Australian  musical…

Once upon at time in London there was an English flower girl who wanted to become a lady. And, once upon a time at Flinders Street station, waiting for a train, stood an Australian girl with a pocketful of family issues, who dreams of looking like Audrey Hepburn, who coincidentally played the flower girl in the film version of Lerner and Loewe’s ‘My Fair Lady’.

My Fair Lady Program

My Fair Lady is the classic musical that came under fire recently at the annual Australian theatre awards, the Helpmann Awards. Was My Fair Lady really an Australian musical? It is after all 60 years old and set in England. Where are all the Australian stories?

The issue of lack of support for Australian musicals is nothing new, our awards often going to overseas artists and shows created elsewhere. Yes, we’ve heard this tune before so I won’t rehash this old melody line but the controversy about the lack of homegrown Aussie musical content at our award ceremonies got me thinking…what if?

What if Opera Australia and John Frost got together and instead of bringing the great Dame Julie Andrews out to Sydney to direct ‘My Fair Lady,’ they brought her to Melbourne instead to direct ‘Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets,’ which features the song ‘Travellers in time’, a real homegrown show … and what if, they invested the same amount of money and talent in AHAICOA would it be a sellout? (Let’s for now forget the brilliant idea someone had of getting Julie Andrews to direct the show that made her a star)

I reckon if Dame Julie directed AHAICOA instead of My Fair Lady it would indeed be a hit! Why? Because we have confidence in Dame Julie, we love her, we’ve supported her through her career and movies, if only Australian producers had confidence in our stories, what a wonderful world it could be.  In fact it would be ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.’

Travellers in Time on YouTube

Of course getting Dame Julie in to direct ‘AHAICOA’ opens up the same old can of worms doesn’t it? It puts an Aussie out of a job, that’s me, I would know first hand how Aussie theatre performers feel losing lead roles to imported overseas stars… but the question remains, could a relatively unknown musical, one that’s ready to burst onto a bigger stage be just as successful as My Fair Lady if given the same VIP treatment?

So what makes an Aussie musical? I mean should we consider ‘King Kong’, ‘Dusty’ or ‘Dream Lover’ as original Australian works? I’d argue ‘NO’ simply on the musical score, these are jukebox musicals created in Australia using pop tunes from the past (written mostly by overseas artists) with the odd newly created song to tie up loose story ends.

So what makes an original Australian musical? This is totally subjective, so you can agree or disagree. Here is my list.

1. It needs to be set in Australia. Maybe we could bend this rule a little and have the lead characters all Aussies but holidaying somewhere else, say in Paris. A musical set in Paris with Australian characters falling in love does sound romantic to me. I’d buy a ticket to hear that musical score. Of course we could just set it in any Australian city and be done with it!

2. The main character should be an outsider.  Well, it’s the Aussie way isn’t it? We root for the underdog.  I mean we’d root for the plain Jane girl from suburban Melbourne who dreams of being a movie star like Audrey Hepburn, just like we’d root for a bushranger decked in armour, taking on the law in a musical like NED.  So, I reckon Australians want an outsider leading their musicals.

3. The Aussie accent. Let’s call a spade a spade here mate, if there are no Aussie accents than she ain’t bloody true blue. So on’ya bike and bugger off, back to where ya came from, we’re a weird mob alright!

4. Original music score. Now this is really a no brainer, surely an Australian musical needs an original score created by Australians living somewhere in Fitzroy, Moonee Ponds or Carlton. If the songs are all written by some dude wearing a baseball cap and living dangerously on the edge in New York or L.A. I don’t think it can be called a ridgy didge Aussie music score.

On set – Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets’

Putting an Australian musical on in this country is tough, support minimal. It’s like going to bootcamp. Most theatre companies don’t accept unsolicited scripts, most funding bodies and development programs don’t support Aussie musicals (hard work right? Can’t blame them right?) and are run by arts officers who (there might be a few exceptions) have never produced or directed a musical or a play.  And, would never invest their own money into a show. The Australian musical journey is a lonely loveless aria, with moments of despair, bankruptcy and long nights of serious hair pulling and hard drinking to dull the pain. But, there is no giving up because it’s in our musical DNA as Australians to soldier on and occasionally shout out from the corner store ‘What About Me’.

Writer/Director Noel Anderson

Since its humble beginning at Chapel Off Chapel, during my 10 year musical journey working on ‘Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets’ I have grown to love Liz O’Sullivan the lead character, her Aussie quirks and her family, they feel like my family to me. Indeed my battle with depression and some of my own personal therapy sessions have ended up in the script, although AHAICOA book remains a work of four creative minds, with a firm guiding hand by me, the only director/writer in the writing team.

There are new Oz musicals on the horizon. These include Muriel’s Wedding, Melba and Eddie Perfect’s Vivid White but the future of the great Australian musical doesn’t look bright or ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ to me. The battle to be heard is still going on. It rages not in the state funded companies with musicals like Tim Finn’s ‘Ladies in Black’ but rather in the full-to-brim rehearsal spaces around the country, all paid by creative souls working casual jobs to support their art. The real Australian musical is out there in the burbs and backyard sheds, being polished, reworked, but who is listening?  Are you? Can these musicals be heard over the noise of Disney’s Aladdin?

Without our dedicated homegrown artists and self funded projects there would be very little Aussie musical content and very little work. Venues like Chapel in Melbourne and the Powerhouse in Brisbane would close. These music makers are our unsung heroes. What happens next musically is up to you Australia 🇦🇺  Australians artists are doing the hard yakka musically but are the Australian Institutions, funding bodies and producers just whistling the same old tunes?

Have a listen to ‘Travellers in Time’ one of the lead songs from the Aussie musical ‘Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets’. The music video has had over 10,000 Views. 🎶 I hope you enjoy it  😎

Such A Lisp. What If Ned Kelly Was Gay?

On Wednesday 25th of May a ripple of outrage ran through social media in Australia as a true icon of Aussie sport confessed to not supporting gay marriage. Yep that’s right tennis great Margret Court publicly slammed Qantas for it’s pro marriage equality stance and  announced in the papers she no longer supported Qantas and would fly in the future on any airline but Qantas. She preached about love between a man and women, about God, declared how proud she was to represent Australia in sport (not water sports though), an Australia I presume from her POV that had no homosexuals in it at the time of her greatest sporting achievements in tennis… or maybe they were in Australia but felt poor Margret so narrow minded that they skipped her as a friend back of court. Whatever!

Anyhow forgetting the ill informed Margaret Court for a just a moment, she got me thinking and wondering, I wondered what if all our greatest sporting hero’s or legends like say Ned Kelly were gay and not straight? Would we honour them in Australian history like we do today? Would they still be Aussie icons? I reckon they wouldn’t. Imagine if Formula One driver Jack Bradham or cricketer Sir Donald Bradman batted for the other team, would we still call them champions?  Or would their sexuality get in the way of making them true living legends in Australia? I mean even Ian Thorpe had to pretend he was straight to get sponsorship.

What if great Aussie icons turned out gay? – Noel Anderson

What if Margret Court was the face of all Virgin Airlines advert’s in this country.  Now imagine, Josh Thomas or Joel Creasey getting on national TV and declaring they refused to travel on Virgin Airlines as they didn’t support Margret’s heterosexual marriage stance and all her beer-belly-heterosexual friends.  Yep, your right…I know what you are thinking, it would never happen in a pink fit, right? Josh and Joel would for one be too busy getting on with their own day to day business to be bothered driving a stake of bigotry into the hearts of Australians straight or gay.  Margret Court may be a great sports person but she appears to be a less than great human being. Do we care about that?

So, back to where we started… If Ned Kelly was gay would we still be talking about him today? I say not. And, if Margret Court was gay would we care about her sporting achievements today? I say not.  Equality I reckon still has some way to go, not just in marriage either. What do you think? I’ll leave you with a few lines of our national anthem Advance Australia Fair 🙂

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free?

Read more: John Williamson – Advance Australia Fair Lyrics | MetroLyrics

The author Noel Anderson completed NIDA’s playwright Studio in 1996 and has directed over 50 theatrical productions, and will be looking for actors to be part of LOVE KILLS 2017 at the Melbourne Fringe, an evening of twisted stories about falling in and out of love. Noel’s plans to film several pieces from Love Kills 2017 as a web series.

Actors Wanted! Love Kills 2017 @melbfringe

LOVE. NOUN – a strong feeling of affection:
Kill. VERB – put an end to or cause the failure or defeat of (something)
Devised and directed by Noel Anderson featuring the work of selected Australian writers.

Are you an actor/performer? If you’ve ever been jilted then ‘LOVE KILLS’ offers a little  a bit of ‘SWEET ACTING REVENGE.’  Whatever your love story, if you are an actor or actress who can ‘really act’ then director/writer Noel Anderson would love work with you on Love Kills at the Melbourne Fringe Festival 2017.

“Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile.”

LOVE KILLS 2017 is a series of tales about love directed  by Noel Anderson, featuring Noel’s breakup piece ‘Confide in Me’ and well-known Melbourne playwright Kieran Carroll’s late night duet ‘Celine & Justin’ along with selected stories from the best indie writers in Oz.

Love Kills 2017 looks at the good, the bad, and the funny side of being in love. Noel will be staging LOVE KILLS during the Melbourne Fringe Festival and hopes to see the best of the stories filmed in the future.  The show will run approximately 60 minutes with 7 performances planned at Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets (past winner of The Melb Fringe Best venue) Smith Street, Fitzroy between 14th Sept – 23rd Sept. Rehearsal would be short and quick.

Respect Aussie Artists - Noel Anderson

I had this idea for a long time. A show about the good, the bad and the funny side of loving.

“I’ve had this idea for a long time. A show much like the ‘Vagina Monologues’ but about men and women, looking at the funny and darker side of loving.  I remember thinking,  I want brave writers, I want to journey into the underbelly of LOVE.  The scripts are ready to go, now I want strong actors to join me. I want the journey for the audience to be comic, surprising, provocative and truthful … I reckon I’ve got the best indie writers in Melbourne, and all that’s missing are the actors” – Director/producer/writer Noel Anderson  

If you’d like to audition then the first thing to do is of course is like our Facebook page @Lovekills2017 and spread a little Melbourne fringe theatre community love.    Love Kills 2017 Facebook

Actors please send your CV and a photo to:  love_kills2017@yahoo.com.au

I am looking at this stage for all ages, from approx. 21 – 55 years up, all nationalities, male and female. Auditions will be in early July. Note: Some material has strong language and adult themes.

The truth about love is out there… but only at Melbourne Fringe 2017

ABOUT THE DIRECTOR: Noel Anderson recently directed the six part TV series NEXT…about the perils of online dating which premiered on Foxtel, Apple TV and We Are TV in 2017. In the first month NEXT had 64,000 views internationally. Noel completed NIDA’s Playwright Studio 1996, his written work includes: Hello Little Man (Melbourne Writer’s Social Anthology 2016), Kylie Kastle Throws A Party (performed in schools across Australia), Germ Warfare (Bondi Pavillion), Pulling Out (Best Writing Winner Midsumma Festival at Gasworks), Sammy and Dave (Stables Theatre), The Carer (Belvoir St Theatre), Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes Of Fame (La Mama & the Jewish Museum of Australia with Andy Warhol’s Geniuses Exhibition), Love Letters (Melbourne Arts Centre) and the new Australian musical Audrey Hepburn And I Consider Our Assets  which premiered at the Melba Spiegeltent on 29th October 2015. Noel is currently working on his first feature film adaption of Sammy and Dave (Like Us on FB @sammyluvdave) and just finished filming the music video ‘Travellers in Time.’ You can follow Noel on Twitter: @Randyandy42 or https://www.facebook.com/noel.anderson42  Noel has directed over 50 theatrical productions.