Charade by Noel Anderson

I have this reoccurring dream where I’m lost in Paris, lost in Montmarte. Who am I running from? I swear I don’t know. More importantly where is my iPhone? I toss and turn and stumble down a dark alley…I’m a little drunk from the French champagne consumed rapidly at the local bar moments earlier.  As I turn the corner I notice a sign that says ‘this way to Champs-Élysées’ and suddenly I find myself out front of the world-famous Moulin Rouge. A big chested gentleman with a blonde kiss curl waves me inside down a flight of stairs. Once inside, I notice that everyone is dressed in white underwear and frantically smoking Gauloises. I cough, the smoke hanging like a thick wedding veil over the room, just as I reach for a martini to calm my nerves, I wake up.
Paris has always fascinated me. I’ve watched many films set in Paris… Subway, Cyrano de Bergerac and Nikita to name a few. But, the one film I love even more today than I did yesterday, set in Paris…is…Charade with screen legend Audrey Hepburn.
Call me old-fashioned, call me queer, but if there was ever a film I wanted to disappear completely inside of, it would have to be Charade, directed by Stanley Donen in 1963.
Oh, what a marvelous experience that would be! To be lost inside the mystery, wear the 60’s fashion, experience the laughs and of course, find the postage stamps and all that money.
If you don’t know the story Audrey Hepburn plays Regina Lampert, a Paris based American, who has decided to divorce her Swiss husband, Charles Lampert, because of the secrets and lies that have pervaded their marriage. Before she can make that request to Charles, he is found dead, seemingly pushed off a Paris to Bordeaux train. So, Audrey’s romance with Paris and Charade’s mystery begin.
As a teenager I acted out scenes from Charade in the backyard, pretending to be French. I was a shy child with a vivid imaginative and I thought acting French made me exotic. But, of course it didn’t. There was something very artificial about my French accent that gave my charade away the minute anyone met me. At one stage I pretended to be Cary Grant, who isn’t French, but is the other star of the film Charade…I often got in trouble at school for pretending to be a someone else and for using a silly accent. I was told by my art teacher to stop behaving like an idiot. An idiot? Why couldn’t my teacher see I was French? In my imagination when pretending to be French, I can climb the highest of heights of Montmarte and be the person I want to be…if you know what I mean.

Cary Grant as Alexander Dyle: Alright, get set for the story of my life.

Audrey Hepburn as Reggie Lampert: Fiction or non Fiction darling?

No, this isn’t a blog about my life, it’s not even a blog about being French, it’s more about the importance of shedding layers as we move from one stage of life to the next. Audrey Hepburn as Reggie, knows in Charade that in order for her to move on she must first shed the things that are holding her back. So, the first thing to go of course is her husband (well he was murdered really but we’ll ignore that!) Now, free from any interpersonal relations, Reggie (Audrey Hepburn) is ready to explore, set for an adventure, up for romance…in the perfect city to fall in love…Paris!
I wake and take a deep breath. Charade with Audrey Hepburn is playing on the DVD, I must have dosed off. I glance out my window to the courtyard below. I can see two empty cans of Carlton and an ashtray full of cigarette butts on top of the neighbours outdoor setting. A pair of stained white undies flicker in the breeze on the clothes line below. I think for a moment. Yes, I think as I drink my coffee down…like Audrey Hepburn as Reggie in the film Charade, I think I love Paris… and I’m ready to shed more layers. I’m waiting now for adventure.

The meaning of Charade – an absurd pretense intended to create a pleasant or respectable appearance.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Noel Anderson became an Audrey Hepburn fan after watching her in Lilian Hellman’s ‘Children’s Hour’ and ‘Charade.’ He has directed many theatrical productions, written well into the night when in pain, worked with a helluva lot of people and had the odd breakdown. Noel is co-writer/director of the new Australian musical Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets which opens in Melbourne at the Melba Spiegeltent on 29th October for a two week season. It will be performed with a four piece band and choir, members from the Grace Notes Singers.
BOOKINGS: Audrey Hepburn And I Consider Our Assets

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PRICE CHECK THE MUSICAL: WE TALK CURRY & AUSTRALIA WITH ZAYEEB DASH

In a revealing interview with Harlequin Ink Reporter and part-time comedian Larry Bird, newly appointed supermarket manager Zayeeb Dash talks candidly about food, shopping and his fetish for fruit.
BOOK NOW
Harlequin Ink: Hi Zayeeb…first up is where were you born? And, what most do you like about living in the most livable city in the world, Melbourne?
Zayeeb: I was born in Goa which is a Portuguese colony in India, situated on the West Coast…which is why I have adopted West Coast Eagles as my footy team! Living in Oz…I like the spunky women, Footy and of course the Tram Restaurant.
Harlequin: If you could be anyone or anything what would you be?
Zayeeb: I have never wanted to be anyone but I wouldn’t mind if i woke up one day and had turned into a ripe, plump avocado.  I have a fetish for fruit and vegables you know. I would also love to be the meat between a Delta and Jessie J sandwich…that is all.
Harlequin: Okay…so you fancy yourself as a ladies man?
Zayeeb: No, not at all. But I’ve watched every season of ‘The Voice’…and, I can yodel a couple of Jimmy Barnes numbers. Did you want to hear yodel?
Harlequin. No…Now, Zayeeb this a tough one. Where is the best place to shop in town?
Zayeeb: Oh, that is tuff…Hmmm. I reckon the most beautiful food and fashion can probably, but not necessarily found on the most iconic street, in the most livable city…Springvale Rd, Glen Waverley.
Harlequin: Well, yes…I see you point!
Zayeeb: And, I see yours Harlequin…yes I do!
Harlequin: Thank you Zayeeb. Do you follow politics?
Zaybeeb: Not much, but I am fascinated why a Speedo lovin’ budgie smuggler would be allowed to run this country! Surely Aussie Bums would do a better job.
Harlequin: If you could be king for a day what is the first thing you’d do?
Zayeeb: I would definitely take all my friends on the Tram Restaurant where my cousin works. He tosses a mean fruit salad and his rum ball ain’t bad either.
Harlequin: What’s the best thing about managing a supermarket?
Zayeeb: The many perks; A gold name badge, more pay, and best of all, it’s was what I was born to do. After all, the qualities of my name as stated by the great Google are “Born Leader and Determined.” You know Harlequin Ink.. I am still trying to understand the culture of Australia. Like what is a ‘True Blue Aussie.’ This country is so big …and yet I am constantly told there is not enough to go around. Let me share for a moment, when I shared a bedroom with my 4 brothers and 5 sisters growing up, we all fitted in one bed perfectly, head to toe…and the bath water reminded us of the Ganges.
Harlequin: Musical theatre love or loathe it?
I love Musical Theatre, as I love to sing, dance and yodel. When I was at school, I yodeled the entire lead role in Mahatma Mia! And I was encouraged to yodel and audition for Goa’s Got Talent. Unfortunately this carrot didn’t make it through the first round but I did not give up my dream of being a supermarket manager.
Harlequin Ink: Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
Zayeeb: (He ponders for a moment) No…but, I do cook a cheeky butter chicken you know!

PRICE CHECK THE MUSICAL OPENS 26TH AUGUST 6 PERFORMANCES ONLY
BOOKING NOW THEATRE WORKS
Price Check Talks Curry written by Grant Durham and Noel Anderson

IT’S SNAP CHAT CHECKOUT CHICK NARELLE SIMS

She puts on her makeup and heads off to work. Sometimes she even paints her nails, and her legs are sore from standing all day. She is a friend to some, a widow to others…she is your local checkout chick, standing tall at the cash register making sure you haven’t accidentally tucked a frozen chicken or something under your jacket. 
Snap Chat Report: Narelle Sims a real life checkout chick and one of the stars of the new Aussie stage show called Price Check The Musical.
pricecheckmusical.com.au
INTERVIEW
Harlequin Ink: Hi…first up is Narelle your real name?
Narelle: Yes of course, it’s on my chest.
Harlequin: Pardon..?
Narelle: My badge, see….it reads Narelle, right?
Harlequin: Okay…how long have you been working as a checkout chick?
Narelle: Over ten years. I started as Night-filler. Night-filler is a dog of a job. I wouldn’t wish it on Tony Abbott.
Harlequin: Must be really terrible then…Do you follow politics?
Narelle: No… I follow ‘The Bachelor.’ I can’t seem to keep my hands off toy boys.
Harlequin: What three words best describe you Narelle?
Narelle: I’m simple, I’m old haha and I’m hard-working (that’s one word right? If you put a hyphen in it?)
Harlequin: Where is the best place to get a milkshake and burger in Melbourne?
Narelle: Sometimes I go out with my girlfriends to the casino, we like a place called Merrywell! It does great burgers, and the boys that work there are pretty cute too!
Harlequin: Do your girlfriends put their handbags on the floor and dance around them?
Narelle: Harlequin? I’m no spring chicken? That’s teenage stuff.
Harlequin: Who would you love to see in your supermarket at Theatre Works?
Narelle: Any of the Neighbours cast! That Blair McDonough – he used to be on Big Brother. I remember having a bit of a crush on him!
Harlequin: Do you have any pre-work rituals?
Narelle: I like my lipstick perfect. You never know who might come in.
Harlequin: Party mixers love or loathe?
Narelle: I’m not really much of a party goer to be honest – It’s hard to meet people.
Harlequin: What’s the best book you’ve read recently?
Narelle: Sometimes I read the odd trashy romance novel!
Harlequin: Me too, who doesn’t? What would you do if you were boss?
Narelle: I Don’t know…I guess I’d give everyone a little bit of a pay rise.
Harlequin: What’s the best thing about working in your supermarket?
Narelle: Well, it’s not the hours, I can tell you that. I guess it’s the music. Yep, it’s the music.
Harlequin: If I asked you to describe Price Check The Musical in one word, what would it be?
Narelle: (smiling) Polished!
Price Check The Musical opens on the 26th August for 6 performances only.
INFO AND BOOKINGS
Snap Chat written by Belinda Hanne Reid and Noel Anderson

Larry Bird Episode 5 – The Dead Comic Mystery

The first dead comic turned up bright and early one Sunday morning in June, June 7th to be exact…dead cold in Alma Park, which is a short twenty minute tram ride from Melbourne’s CBD. A jogger in red and white shorts discovered the man’s body around 7am on his second lap of the footy oval when he stopped to tie a shoe lace.
The body was lying face down head turned towards the railway lines, curiously to the left. He had a smile on his face as if he’d died in a fit laugher. Close to the man’s head, a breath away from his silly grin, was a malurus cyaneus, commonly known a blue wren, also as dead as a donut. The bird and the man made an odd couple on the embankment that sunny winter’s morning. Looking down the jogger kicked at the bird with his running shoe just as the Sandringham train sped down the track, the breeze from the train making the dead man’s teeth chatter. The jogger did not recognise this particular species of bird at all but knew the name of the dead man immediately…he was ‘Eric Minchin.’ The jogger had caught a few of Eric’s gigs at the Comic Lounge in North Melbourne. Eric often hosted there during the International Comedy Festival. In fact most comedians workin’ Melbourne’s comedy circuit knew Eric and they all hated his guts. Often behind his back Eric was called ‘a fuckin’ big twat!’ Eric was disliked mostly because of his popularity and his constant upstaging at live gigs. Eric did not like to share the limelight.
Eric Minchin had had the kinda’ career the average Aussie comedian working the circuit longed for. It had been smooth sailin’ all the way for Eric. Not one wrong step, no stumbling either. While most comics in Melbourne struggled to put food on the table, Eric and his family were eating out at the Flower Drum… and Eric could often be found without his family dancing the night away at Eve Nightclub. Eric had a lovely wife, a beautiful child and over a two hundred and fifty thousand likes on Facebook…Fuck it, what more could any comic want? Eric was an Aussie success story, even 60 Minutes had interviewed him.
Eric also had a well paid gig on Australia’s second highest rating TV show, ‘Good Golly 5 ‘0’Clock News’ on Channel 3.
For you info…
Channel 3 is the same channel that programmes The Jailbirds. Eric did a segment on the TV show called Where Are They Now? A piss take on the short lived careers of forgotten Aussie celebrities…I guess the irony of Eric’s comedy routine and news reporting finally caught up with him. How could Eric Minchin have known last Friday when he signed off for the weekend he would make the headlines on the Channel 3 telly prompter -‘Eric (the twat) Minchin popular Australian star found dead in a ditch.’
He couldn’t have known that of course, or would anyone have guessed he’d would die in such a peculiar way sleeping like a baby next to a dead blue wren. Eric death was the start of what was to become known in the Australian media as The dead Bird Mystery – Comedy to die for!
Eric Minchin was to be Australia’s first victim.
Eric Minchin loathed by some, loved by the general public, dead at thirty eight.
Approximately Thirteen Hours Earlier….
Larry Bird was seated on backstage toilet at Bar 59 waiting nervously for his return to the Melbourne Comedy circuit. He scratched his balls and ran his routine over and over in his mind. Ten years was a long time to be off the circuit. Larry knew it too. Did he still have it?  Noble the stage Manager banged on the door.  She’d been a stage  manager longer than she’s been a lesbian and was over both roles.
“It’s ya fifteen minute call Larry. Tuck it in mate a get ready.  I can’t wait to hear your new routine. Best of luck” she shouted then under her breath added ” You’re goin’ to need it.” Noble tugged at her tight jeans and spat on the floor.
Larry flushed the toilet and stood watching the water swirl around the bowl for a moment. This was it, he dreamt about this night for a long time, over ten years or was it longer? Larry had lost track of time…and now here he was, ready for his return to the stage, finally.  Slowly he walked down the corridor turning left at the end, as he rounded the corner he could just make out the sound of another comic’s routine. The joke’s lingering in his mind blocking his creativity a little. Larry didn’t know who was performing and he didn’t care either. As Larry stood in the wings waiting, he thought about his mother and father, his life up to this point, his first kiss in the backseat of a mate’s van when he was just fifteen and he thought about the plastic bag with half gram of coke waiting in his jacket pocket.
‘No Larry don’t do the coke thing’… Larry thought.
Larry reached into his pocket and rolled the little bag between his fingers and onto his palm …just as Noble the lesbian turned the corner.
“Five minute call Larry! Christ what’s wrong with you mate?…You’re sweating like a pig”
Larry Bird was indeed sweating like a marathon runner.
“Nothing. I’m just nervous. Stage fright I guess”
“Stage fright. Well you look like shit! Pull’ya self together mate…you’re on.”
I’m on Larry said, over and over in his mind. This is it. Everything I’ve done, been through has led me to this place, this stage…this moment.
“Curtain up mate”  Noble shouted.
Larry swollowed hard and stepped out onto the stage, the stage lights blinding his view. I am home Larry thought…I’m home.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: NOEL ANDERSON completed NIDA’s Playwright Studio 1996. His written work includes: Germ Warfare (Bondi Pavilion), Kylie Kastle Throws a Party performed in schools across Australia, Sammy and Dave (Stables Theatre) and The Carer (Belvoir Street). In 2008 his play “Pulling Out” won Midsumma’s Pink Shorts at Gasworks and in 2012 his work was featured in Love Letters at the Melbourne Arts Centre. In 2013 Noel’s play Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame soldout La Mama’s Courthouse, returning 2015 to the Jewish Museum of Australia with Warhol’s Geniuses Exhibition. Directing work includes: Sylvia Plaith’s Letter’s Home (Belvoir Street), Oliver (Gold Coast Performing Arts Centre), A Fitzroy Romance (La Mama), The Water Sellers (Best Director Winner Monash Festival) and Price Check The Musical (Theatre Works)
Noel is producing, directing and co-writer on a new Aussie musical called Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets which open on 29th Oct at the Melba Spiegeltent, Melbourne
BOOK NOW FOR THE 29th OCT Preview
http://www.trybooking.com/IGHH

CASTING: REAL MAN WANTED MOVIE STAR LOOKS – MUSICAL MELBA SPIEGELTENT

Everybody needs an idol, it’s as important to us as Australians as good packet of Tim Tams and a Hills Hoist in the backyard. We need idols to help us get through the daily grind. Well, Harlequin Ink is looking for a leading man with movie star looks, who looks like… let’s say someone like, ROCK HUDSON or blonde 60’s star TROY DONAHUE (see pic below). Rock and Troy were movie stars in every sense of the word and a terrific leading men. Commanding big money, living the high life, their faces gracing every magazine in the world. While we can’t pay you a movie star wage, we can give you a little something and a great leading role in a new Australian musical…with a Hollywood twist.

Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets

Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets

Liz O’Sullivan, has a dream in Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets, she dreams if only she could be like Audrey Hepburn, and if only she could find a real man then everything in her life would be perfect…
Well, we believe somewhere in Melbourne is our REAL MAN.

ABOUT THE ROLE: Aprrox age 25yrs’s – late 30’s. In the script Rod is the therapist to our leading lady, Liz O’Sullivan. He’s there to help Liz get through all the drama in her life, and to try and rid Liz’s mind of Audrey Hepburn’s constant nagging. The therapy sessions make for some amusing banter between Liz, her therapist Rod, and Audrey Hepburn as we know her from her movies… Roman Holiday, Gigi, My Fair Lady, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
All performer’s offered an honorarium (a modest fee)
The audition is on Saturday 25th July in Richmond.
The season runs from 29th Oct – 7th Nov.
Rehearsals starting mid/late September.

HOW TO AUDITION
Send your CV, pic and any links to Harlequin Ink: audreypopmusical@yahoo.com.au
All successful applicants will be contacted and given an audition time. A song or two from the show will be emailed to you. On the day you will be asked to read from the script and perform the prepared song.

We are also casting the following roles (These are approximate ages only) Liz O’ Sullivan 25 to 34yrs – Mum 40 to 50yrs – Dad 45 to 55yrs – Audrey 30’s – Emad 26 to 32yrs Egyptian type – Len 27 to 40’s – Caroline 30’s.
Spread the word Australia about our show, and help make a dream a reality.

Director – Noel Anderson (credits include Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame)
Musical Director – John Grant (credits include Carols By Candlelight)

NOTE: Audrey Hepburn and I Consider Our Assets will be performed with a live band and a choir at the Melba Spiegeltent, Melbourne.
This is an original Australian musical event!
‘Believe in Pink Melbourne’
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Checkout one of the lead songs from the show – A REAL MAN performed by Aria chart topper Katie Underwood, written and directed by Noel Anderson, and released online on 13th August 2014. And, remember to like us on Facebook.
Special thanks to our first sponsor Bendigo Bank… love the Audrey team xx
https://www.facebook.com/pages/AUDREY-HEPBURN-AND-I-CONSIDER-OUR-ASSETS-A-new-musical-made-in-Melbourne/743570852322121?ref=hl

Larry Bird Episode 4 – Meet Bill from Alma Park!

The Unofficial Death of Larry Bird
Episode 4. The Art of Comedy – written by Noel Anderson
RECAP: END OF EPISODE THREE
Larry didn’t know it then, but he was not going to dream again for a very long time. The next time he did Little George would be waiting for him, with a scroll, words written in pigeon blood.
LARRY BIRD CONTINUES…
Alma Park was quiet when Bill arrived with his companion. They’d been coming there for sometime now, Bill usually stretched a bit then went for a run. Bill had stumbled upon Felicity on that day, the day he did three laps of the oval, the day he’d stopped to leak under a gum tree near the railway tracks.
Bill liked pissing out open for people to see. It made him feel rebellious and almost human. He remembered Felicity pretended not to notice him urinating and he decided, when they connected later that day, not to mention it either. Bill had never really had a girlfriend before….before he met Felicity. His companion, Frank (a mean old codger) never let him out of sight long enough to find one, even in Alma Park. It was damn annoying, Bill thought, to always be at someone’s beck and call… But that day, months ago, the day that old Frank had dozed off for the first time ever, Bill was able to strike up his third eye and connect.  At first Felicity didn’t want to fuse and blocked Bill’s vibrations but with a little mental probing from Bill, she eventually gave way…and they merged, weak but united.
“Let me in.” Bill whispered shaking his tail.
“No. Stay where you are” Felicity had said.
“Let me in E…Eli…Elicity.” Bill continued, almost begging, his nose wet.
The connection was bad, but clearing…
“How did you know my name Frank?” Felicity asked.
“How do you know…my….mine” Bill growled back.
“I don’t know…I just do. A woman never questions these things”
“I see. Well, how do I say this… ?”
“Say what?” she beckoned without once moving her lips.
Okay. I’ll give it to her straight, Bill thought…
He’s goanna give it to me straight I bet, what a bloody wanker, felicity thought…
“By the way…for your information” he corrected sharply. “I’m not Frank. Just letting you know. That’s not my name.”
“Well, B.T.W for your info…my name is actually Felicity, not Elicity. Your connection is weak. In fact it’s fucked. Goodbye Bill. Don’t ring me again okay.” Felicity quipped and immediately blanked him out. A bell rang out in Bill’s inner ear when Felicity blocked him…ding-a-ling it went…then Bill heard…”have a good day!” The connection went stone-dead. The connection was only brief but Bill had grown to trust his inner eye and felt he could also trust Felicity. The connection was deeper than Bill thought possible with a human too. He had barked when they connected and vibrated, while Felicity shook uncontrollably and blushed bright pink! An image had appeared in both their inner minds. What was it they saw? Something odd? Something about dead birds. And, there was a note too!  It was no use trying to bring it back, Bill thought, and rolled onto his back…once the connection goes, it’s gone…until the next time.
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‘The park was empty today’…that thought came from somewhere at the back of Frank’s skull.
‘Where was Felicity’…Bill wondered?
Frank pulled a small checkered blanket out of his backpack and placed it on top of the dry summer grass, feeling around the edges, he flattened the corners with his fingers. Next, Frank took a silver flask of black sweetened green tea from the pack and sat squarely on the blanket. He sipped the tea seeing nothing but hearing every little sound in the surrounding parkland. Frank had exceptional hearing for an old fella. Frank unleashed Bill and let him run free. Alma Park was more often than not full of couples walking their beasts (as Bill liked to refer to any animal walking with their master)… today however was different. Today there was next to no beasts frolicking in the park. There were also hardly any people. And, there was certainly no Felicity.
Frank put aside his cane and took out some sunscreen lotion. He sat rubbing the lotion deep into his burnt skin.
“Bill! Listen up boy” Frank shouted as the lotion melted into the cracks on Frank’s face.
“Bill don’t you stray too far from me, you hear boy?” Bill heard Frank alright as clear as a bell, but decided to ignore him.
“Shut the fuck up Frank, you silly old fart!” Bill barked back wagging his tail, running off towards the playground.
Bill knew there wasn’t much Frank could do without him anyway. Frank was as blind as a bat!
“I wish you’d start behaving like a bloody Labrador Retriever” Frank shouted at Bill, “And stop thinking your some fancy Spotted Dalmatian?
“Never Frank, you silly old bastard…I’ll never be happy as a Retriever, your servant, never!” Bill barked back.
Now where, in God’s name was Felicity?
ACROSS MELBOURNE THAT NIGHT…
Miriam sat stuffing handfulls of popcorn into her mouth, fidgeting and watching a repeats of Jail Birds on TV. She thoughts a lot that night, dirty thoughts, rooting thoughts, about Larry Bird…And, two of the other waiters at Ms Jackson’s that she fancied like hell. Miriam thought so hard, she finished all the popcorn in 10 seconds flat and sat masturbating on the lounge and feeling hungry.
In Carlton, Rodger was kneeling on his bed, ear to the wall, listening to his ex-partner, Abigail, moaning through a three-way in the next room. Rodger said the Lord’s Prayer softly to himself and prayed Abigail didn’t take too long to cum…he knew from experience she could take hours. Besides, he had footy training first thing in he morning and wanted to wake up feeling fresh!
In her South Melbourne flat, Cherrie Bomb had a bright idea! “Maybe I’ll make Donald a nice roast, and dress up as a Party Hostess like I use too when we first met.” Why hadn’t she thought of it earlier? She’d wear her brand new Miley Cyrus pink lipstick she picked up at Big W…and, after the pork roast, do a bit of twerking, maybe twerk to Susie Quatro’s Devil Gate Drive. Cherrie loved that song. And, Donald will love it too! Probably wet his pants…she hoped!
So, Cherri Bomb said goodbye to Jail Birds, switching off the TV and dashed to the shower.
Rule number 1 of twerking: Always have a clean vagina…just in case there was some action!
Jackie stepped defiantly out of the bottle shop on the corner of Sydney Road and William Street, holding a bottle of Moet wrapped tightly in a brown paper bag. She was in the mood for celebration…she got the job at Vampires Theatre Restaurant and could finally give the Edinburgh the flick. She sat on the edge of the gutter, popped the cork and took a long swig. Moet had never tasted soooo…good!
Back in Carlton, Rodger had given up waiting for Abigail to cum…if she couldn’t then he could, and did…
“Wow that was smooth” he thought. Now, with that out of the way, Rodger drifted off into a deep sleep.
Alone in his flat in St Kilda, Larry slipped on his glasses, fired up his Samsung laptop and opened the file marked…
THE ART OF COMEDY by Larry Bird.
Jesus, Larry you haven’t looked at this file in over…I don’t know… ten years, or was it longer…he thought. Larry couldn’t remember, too many parties in the 90’s…or was it the 80’s. He flicked through his writing, man what a lot of shit…he thought, but was any of it good?
Larry hadn’t given comedy a thought since…well, since that day, the day in the park. But, something inside him was saying that Melbourne was ready for his return to stage and the comedy circuit.
Larry still had the dream, buried under all the booze and drugs of his youth, to be Australia’s King of Fuckin’ Comedy… and kick Graham Kennedy off the fuckin’ throne.
“Fark” Larry said to himself, no one heard him…the dreams still bloody there! After all this fuckin’ time!
Larry knew the time was right, the moment was now…this time Larry, he corrected himself in his mind, Larry J Bird…don’t fuck everything up!
EPISODE 5. PREVIEW LINE
“Someone left a dead pigeon in the fuckin’ flat, and some comedian just died…literally. And, I’m not being funny.”
LIKE LARRY BIRD ON FACEBOOK
https://www.facebook.com/larrybird123

Andy Warhol’s Fifteen Minutes ofFrame: In the Raw 
Written & Directed by Noel Anderson
Jewish Museum of Australia
“An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have” – Andy Warhol
Continues on 9th, 16th May 2015
Bookings: http://www.trybooking.com/129490

Albert Einstein in a box?

Albert Einstein in a box?