In a revealing interview with Harlequin Ink Reporter and part-time comedian Larry Bird, newly appointed supermarket manager Zayeeb Dash talks candidly about food, shopping and his fetish for fruit.
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Harlequin Ink: Hi Zayeeb…first up is where were you born? And, what most do you like about living in the most livable city in the world, Melbourne?
Zayeeb: I was born in Goa which is a Portuguese colony in India, situated on the West Coast…which is why I have adopted West Coast Eagles as my footy team! Living in Oz…I like the spunky women, Footy and of course the Tram Restaurant.
Harlequin: If you could be anyone or anything what would you be?
Zayeeb: I have never wanted to be anyone but I wouldn’t mind if i woke up one day and had turned into a ripe, plump avocado.  I have a fetish for fruit and vegables you know. I would also love to be the meat between a Delta and Jessie J sandwich…that is all.
Harlequin: Okay…so you fancy yourself as a ladies man?
Zayeeb: No, not at all. But I’ve watched every season of ‘The Voice’…and, I can yodel a couple of Jimmy Barnes numbers. Did you want to hear yodel?
Harlequin. No…Now, Zayeeb this a tough one. Where is the best place to shop in town?
Zayeeb: Oh, that is tuff…Hmmm. I reckon the most beautiful food and fashion can probably, but not necessarily found on the most iconic street, in the most livable city…Springvale Rd, Glen Waverley.
Harlequin: Well, yes…I see you point!
Zayeeb: And, I see yours Harlequin…yes I do!
Harlequin: Thank you Zayeeb. Do you follow politics?
Zaybeeb: Not much, but I am fascinated why a Speedo lovin’ budgie smuggler would be allowed to run this country! Surely Aussie Bums would do a better job.
Harlequin: If you could be king for a day what is the first thing you’d do?
Zayeeb: I would definitely take all my friends on the Tram Restaurant where my cousin works. He tosses a mean fruit salad and his rum ball ain’t bad either.
Harlequin: What’s the best thing about managing a supermarket?
Zayeeb: The many perks; A gold name badge, more pay, and best of all, it’s was what I was born to do. After all, the qualities of my name as stated by the great Google are “Born Leader and Determined.” You know Harlequin Ink.. I am still trying to understand the culture of Australia. Like what is a ‘True Blue Aussie.’ This country is so big …and yet I am constantly told there is not enough to go around. Let me share for a moment, when I shared a bedroom with my 4 brothers and 5 sisters growing up, we all fitted in one bed perfectly, head to toe…and the bath water reminded us of the Ganges.
Harlequin: Musical theatre love or loathe it?
I love Musical Theatre, as I love to sing, dance and yodel. When I was at school, I yodeled the entire lead role in Mahatma Mia! And I was encouraged to yodel and audition for Goa’s Got Talent. Unfortunately this carrot didn’t make it through the first round but I did not give up my dream of being a supermarket manager.
Harlequin Ink: Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
Zayeeb: (He ponders for a moment) No…but, I do cook a cheeky butter chicken you know!

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Price Check Talks Curry written by Grant Durham and Noel Anderson