Movies have always been a passion of mine since I was a kid. But, with all the options available today on streaming services like Stan, Netflix, YouTube and more recently Amazon, what to watch at home on Saturday night can be daunting. So, I’ve done the hard work for you over a few Skinny Bitches (vodka, lime and soda) and rated them according to how many drinks I enjoyed, while streaming. A great film for example would be 5 Skinny Bitches while a dud flick would be 1 Skinny Bitch. So, let’s go to the movies!
After Life – One of the great things about this series is it’s all wrapped up in six short episodes. What to expect? Well, you’ll get excellent writing, which is witty and not very politically correct. Good acting from comedian turned actor Ricky Gervais, and all involved. Enormously enjoyable. My rating – 5 Skinny Bitches.
Man In An Orange Shirt – An excellent British drama looking at the the lives of two gay men generations apart. A beautiful production starring English stage and screen legend, Vanessa Redgrave. My Rating – 4 Skinny Bitches.
Bloom – Jackie Weaver and Bryan Brown lead this all Australian production about the discovery of a plant that holds the secret to the fountain of youth. Well made, solid acting, perhaps an episode or two over long but always entertaining. My Rating – Enjoy with 3 Skinny Bitches and a mud mask.
The Haunting Of Hill House – I really struggled with the fact this series strays so far from the original 1959 novel’s storyline, written by Shirley Jackson. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it! Overlong, good acting all round, and a strong finish, but something is missing? Suspense! My Rating – 2 Skinny Bitches (I suggest watching the original 1963 film, The Haunting, directed by Robert Wise with Julie Harris, instead) Or read the book.
Tidelands – A hot cast lead by the real Mrs Chris Hemsworth, Elsa Pataky. It’s a dumb premise about mermaids, water and super powers but somehow they pull it off. Great cinematography, beautiful locations, thoroughly entertaining, in a Bold and Beautiful kind of way. My Rating – 4 skinny Bitches and a chaser 😊
Gigolos – What happens in Vegas, stays there, so they say. I love these cheap straight male hookers who rap and fuck, in that order. The show is R rated so expect in-your-face sex scenes, full frontal nudity, and a little something to think and rap about. The most fun you’ll have in Las Vegas without ever going on the game. My rating – 5 Skinny Bitches. Watch while flicking through Tinder, Grindr or E Harmony.
Catfish TV Series – Low life American trash all trying to find love on the internet in this series based on the compelling 2010 film. Why can’t they find love? Because they’re all losers, dressed badly and as dumb as F#*K. Make some salted popcorn, put on your PJ’s and get comfortable with Nev and Max, your hosts on the show. The characters in the show are a train-wreck but it’s good viewing, honestly, in a reality TV-kinda way. My Rating – 4 Skinny Bitches then disconnect your internet immediately and delete all dating apps from your smart phone.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – George Lazenby was the first and only Aussie actor to play James Bond in this 1969 British spy film, and he is fantastic in the role. Revisiting this film propped up in bed with a mug of Lemsip was a joy, and made for a great night at home with a cold. Watch it for the laughs, the action, and of course, George. My Rating – 5 Skinny Bitches and a Lemsip. Bliss! PS. Checkout the documentary Becoming Bond it’s a hoot!
Parker – The perfect stay at home, Saturday night movie. After a slow start, the film really kicks in when Jennifer Lopez comes in (playing a Miami real estate agent) and steals the show from action hero, Jason Statham. An enjoyable romp, very violent, definitely not one for the kiddies. My Rating – 3 Skinny Bitches and 1 Cock-Sucking Cowboy.
The Courtney Act Christmas Show – Recent winner of Celebrity Big Brother UK, Courtney recently, has been dancing up a storm on Oz TV’s Dancing With The Stars. The Courtney Act show is Christmas drag delivered with a little help from some friends like Leona Lewis, and a few of RuPaul’s Drag Race finalists. Funny, gender bending and definitely worth catching even if it isn’t Christmas. Yet! My Rating – 3 Skinny Bitches, stilettos and 1 Christmas pudding.
10 Rillington Place – Set in London, Tim Roth and Samantha Morton star in this period drama based on the true crimes of killer, John Christie. Slow in pace, but the stellar performances by the whole cast hold attention. You’ll never want to rent in London! My Rating – 3 Skinny Bitches and a whiskey chaser, that should do it!
Australia in Colour – Streaming on SBS, this landmark 4 part documentary series, narrated by Hugo Weaving, reflects on Australia’s identity, politics and its struggle to value its Indigenous and multicultural past. Australian history from a fresh and colourful perspective. My rating – 4 Skinny Bitches followed by a cold Fosters.
About the author – Noel Anderson is currently adapting his play Sammy & Dave into a film. Noel has directed over 50 theatrical productions. Checkout Noel’s Podcast ‘Email To My 17-Year-Old Self‘ on Podbean and on his iTunes Channel – Noel Anderson’s 15 Minutes of Fame.