Best Friends Forever? Really?

I had no idea what BFF meant when I first heard it used in a rom-com so I googled it. The Urban Dictionary said it had two meanings, the most common of which is: Best Friends Forever and the other is the complete opposite: Big Fat Fuck! I decided to ignore the second meaning as it’s self-explanatory and chat about the first.

What is a best friend?

Let me explain!

A best friend I’d describe as someone who shares a common interest like rock painting, duck herding, football or the AC/DC Fan Club. Someone whose opinion you value over others. Someone you confide in and that you trust wholeheartedly. They’ve got your back! They are often the person you have most fun with on a night out. They could also be that friend who drinks excessively and is a total embarrassment. The friend you pour into an Uber after a pub crawl down Chapel Street. The one that throws up in the backseat! Doesn’t matter though, you love them regardless of the vomit…and the extra forty dollar cleaning fee. You’re besties after all, forever, right? Over a lifetime we might have several best friends, not always at the same time. But not every friendship lasts forever.

When I was growing up, one of my best friends was a surfer who lived in Wentworthville in Sydney. He was good looking with sun-bleached hair, which was strange for the area, as he lived a long way from the beach. He’d often pick me up from my mum’s place, even though I didn’t live close to him. We always had a good time together on hot summer nights. He was popular, more popular than me, I thought. In my late teens, I foolishly believed we’d be – best friends forever – but we weren’t. AIDS came along unexpectedly and just-like-that he was gone. No more rides into town. No more laughs either. I missed the sound of his panel van pulling up out front and revving its engine, ready for a night out. Saturday’s after he left – forever – were never the same.

Guess what?

You’re in love ❤️

Have you noticed more often than not you don’t get along with the new partner of a bestie? Why are they always hanging out with them? It makes catching up for a ham and cheese toastie with your BFF a painful experience. You sit wishing their partner would shut the fuck up and die! But they don’t. Over time you stop catching up with your BFF. Why do best friends change? Maybe it’s got something to do with global warming? Who knows! Friendships change when love flies in. Do you recall that ‘best friend’ that abandoned you at the start of every new relationship? I do. Why does that always happen to me? You reach out and try and reconnect, but things have shifted between both of you. Never to be the same again. Oh, no. I thought we’d be best friends forever! What a bummer you’re in love! Well, fuck off then!

Sometimes friends grow apart!

You can’t stop stop it ✋

A retired drag queen once said to me in a crowded nightclub in Adelaide, “it’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” When I got back to my hotel room that night, I kicked off my shoes and took out my phone. I went through my entire contact list as the clock struck 4 a.m. Who should I call? I wondered. To my surprise, as I flicked through my iPhone, there was no one to ring! Yep! That’s right! Honestly, most friends don’t appreciate phone calls at 4 a.m. It’s just too late. But not one to let things get me down on holidays, I switched the jug on, opened the bedside drawer and took out Gideon’s bible. Friendships don’t last forever, they are unpredictable. Much like travelling interstate for a holiday. Friendships, like travellers, often hit major road bumps. I’ve never had a trouble-free holiday, have you? Something always goes wrong. Gideon understood that travelling along life’s highway can be rocky… and a good story, as in the bible, helps us gently glide over ‘pot holes’ in the road. A good story stays with us longer than friends!

Time for a cuppa ☕️

Makes everything better!

I remember, the kettle boiled and I made tea. I flicked through the bible, and then put it aside. Like a free bible left in a city hotel room, ‘best friends’ are around for those who want them, or maybe don’t even know they need them. Like Gideon’s bible, ‘best friends’ offer something familiar and calming to help pass the time when the road is long and cold. But in God’s name don’t expect them to stay best friends forever!

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